It’s a little word. Only three letters. Even a kid can sound it out. So why is it do damn hard for the boys to remember what it means? Dinner’s ready now. The garbage needs to go out now. It’s time to leave now. Time and again I hear myself (in my head) screaming “WHAT DON’T YOU GET ABOUT NOW — I SAID NOW?” Is there a secret dictionary for men where the meanings of all the words are changed? Does now actually mean “whenever the hell you feel like it?” ‘Cause if that’s the case, I am going to start applying it to things like … like… like … dinner. See, I can’t even come up with an idle threat because now is so irrelevant to him. It’s one of the big sticking points between us — I live life now and he lives it whenever the hell he feels like it.
Not long ago we were going to friends for dinner and so when it was approaching time to leave, knowing it’s critical to give advance warning, I said “I am going to have a quick shower and then we’ll go OK?” “Sure” he says. So after my 3 minute and 24 second shower, I expect to find him getting ready. No, in fact, he has put on his ratty old jeans and boots and is out on the back deck shoveling snow, which of course means the complete 20 minute shower, clothes change and then we’re late for dinner. I lean out the window, “Did ya have to do that now?” In return, I get the big heavy sigh the snarky tone “We’ll this morning you said to do it NOW.” Silly me, and I thought now meant NOW.