Yelling in Print

Honestly – what’s with these male obsessions that come out of the blue?  My hubby decided to obsess about cereal this week. Specifically, the amount of sugar in his cereal. He doesn’t give a damn about that bucket of chocolate ice cream he downed during the first period of the hockey game, or the chocolate chip cookies he stole from the kids’ stash, but be sure — he wants no sugar in his cereal. I know this because I found it written in CAPITAL LETTERS (which we all know = YELLING) all over the white board where I scribble a grocery list.  And, no, he didn’t just write what he wanted — he wrote DO NOT BUY THIS BECAUSE SUGAR IS THE FIRST INGREDIENT AND I NEVER CHECKED BEFORE.  Ya? Even though you’ve been happily scarfing it down for the last 6 months? So, I give him the benefit of the doubt and proceed to read every cereal label in the store to find the highest fibre, lowest sugar combo of granola-bar-looking-cardboard that I can find. Sure enough next morning I hear the big ‘HUMPH’ from the kitchen and “Is this cereal for me?” “Yes” I say and explain my shopping criteria and point out the very low sugar content. “Well” he complains “it has no added sugar but it’s full of artificial stuff and still tastes sweet”.  I know this is where your expect to read that I dumped the entire box of flakes over his head — and trust me, I should have.

The whole thing reminds me of a few years back when my Dad commented on the crease in his jeans and how my Mom folded them. Well, after 35 or so years of laundry my Mom lost it — or found it really, in terms of a new attitude — and calmly, but painfully clearly no doubt, told my Dad that he could do his own laundry from then on. Stunningly, he has ever since (well kinda sorta but he really tries). Of course, they were retired at the time which made it bit easier for my Dad to find the time to hone his new laundry skills. So I’m thinking, my parent have been married almost 47 years and we are barely clawing our way to 15.  Do I have to wait 30 years before I can finally say “Screw you — buy your own damn cereal”?  I think not.


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